The Joys of Group Interviews

Group interviews are stupid.

Stupid, but extremely amusing.

I toddled off to a group interview today for a position as a music teacher. Upon entering the waiting room and meeting some of the other candidates, I quickly realised something.

Everyone was VASTLY more qualifed than I was.

As in, half of them were actually students doing a dedicated music degree- actually devoting their life to music- or they'd taught music in the past. I felt like an imposter.

I believe that there are two types of tertiary music students. The first type tend to be creative, laidback souls who generally happen to be the most lovely people you'll ever meet. The second type tend to be poncy little elitists who you want to smack over the head with a music stand. Thankfully, there are relatively few of the latter, but when you meet them you want to...well, hit them over the head with a music stand.

Left to their own devices, these people will grow up to become those irritable old patrons who sit behind you at MSO concerts, muttering about obscure technical points and giving you death glares if you think to even whisper.

Unfortunately, there happened to be one of these poncy people in this interview group. Because it was a group interview, and group interviews happen to be ridiculous affairs with equally ridiculous team-building activities, we had to write down five things we would wish for if a genie appeared to us.

(Considering that the entire interview consisted of these ostensibly random and pointless exercises, I'm assuming that the selectors apply their uber-awesome 1337 psychoanalytic skills to examine our answers.)

Anyhow, we had to read them out, and this is what poncy-boy started out with. In an equally poncy manner:

1. "First, I would wish for every child in the world to have the same opportunities I have had."
2. "I would also eradicate world hunger."
3. "I would wish for my girlfriend to feel the kind of happiness that I feel from being around her."

(Everyone else: "Awwww....")

4. "To be the best musician and pianist and composer in the world."

I forget what his fifth answer was, but I think it was something to do with world peace.

Because I am an evil and selfish person, world peace only made it to #3 on my list. The rest were purely self-indulgent. I figured that with endless money I could probably work on eradicating world hunger anyway. My list ran as follows:

1. Yamaha Grand Concert Piano. (They can even make 'Heart and Soul' sound good.)
2. A bank account that never dries up
3. World peace
4. Good health
5. An albino pet koala (or possibly a penguin)

As you can imagine, everyone simply stared at me like I was mad when I read out the fifth request. But as Neesh will attest to, I've wanted a baby albino koala since Year 11, when I saw a picture of one in my Biology textbook.

I'm also rather fond of penguins.

Anyway...

...group interviews are also amusing because everyone chats to everyone else, but really, everyone's just trying to prove to the observers that "Yes, I can work in a team! Look, I'm communicating! Seeeeeee?!"
Also, one of the girls on my table simply walked out and didn't come back after the first exercise. She was meant to be helping us in the group exercise, but she simply said, "Excuse me for a moment," grabbed her bag and then never came back.

I seem to have that effect on people :P

Anyhow, it was an interesting break from my long hours of not-doing-anything-when-i-should-be-studying.
So, SO screwed for these exams.

Blaaaaargh.

I need a nap, a Frosty Fruit and an albino koala.