I saw 'Jumper' last night.
It was terrible.
Really, really bad. (This being the general definition of 'terrible'...)
I'd been really looking forward to it, since it had all the makings of a good sci-fi/action movie- teleporting, lots of explosions, and Hayden Christensen.
However, it was as if fifteen people had all sat down, thought of one scene each without consulting the other, then patched it all together in a random editing sequence.
IT HAD NO PLOT.
And by this I mean '27 Dresses' had a better plot. Linear and predictable though it was, it still had a basic plot. Unlike Jumper, which literally did 'jump' around from scene to scene, leaving many unresolved plotlines and with a black hole where character development should have been.
And I had hoped that Hayden Christensen would finally shake off the abysmal acting of Star Wars: Episode II (Episode Three not being quite so bad) and prove that he could actually act.
Unfortunately, his role in Jumper consisted of three facial expressions- Happy Anakin. Sad Anakin. And Angry Anakin.
Rachel Bilson wasn't much better, as I spent the whole time looking at her going, "Weren't you NOT THAT THIN in the O.C?'
Even Samuel L. Jackon's coolness was totally wasted. It was hands-down the stupidest movie I have seen all summer. Not only did it not have a plot, it didn't even make any sense- if you've watched it and seen the ending, you'll understand the sheer idiocy of it and the total lack of any plot explanation.
I saw it with my friend Alice, and admittedly, we were kinda hoping to just sit there and perv on Mr Christensen, but his shirt was off for a grand total of seven seconds. And he had all the charisma and acting ability of a plank of wood. At the end of the movie, we were just so utterly dazed by the ridiculousness of it all that we couldn't actually comment on the movie itself, just the weirdness of it all.
So yeah...keep your $12 and go see Alvin and the Chipmunks or something.
2 comments:
EW! Alvin and the CHIPMONKS! Gross.
I never really found Hayden Christensen very attractive.
I thought Jumper would be an OK movie, but not something that I'd like that much. Something like a not very worthy Matrix 1. BUT the main reason I didn't want to see it, was because of the very bad marketing strategies involving the title of the movie. As you know, titles of movies can be adapted according the country. Like, how 'Suddenly 30' is '13 going on 30' in Malaysia or something. And it was so OBVIOUS they didn't consider Australia as a country that have any cultural differences to America, because the title 'JUMPER' brings woolen knitted objects, rather than 'JUMPER', a person who jumps.
I thought basic research, not that hard, definitely not worth my effort.
Hahahaha!!!
I just read your post of Feb 4th. (So many posts to look forward to read, hooray!)
Amen sister. Being able to be around you, and be perfectly honest is cathartic, and wonderful. And it was SO GOOD to see you today! Happiness in a hug :)
Being rejected sucks, and being the rejecter sucks sometimes even more. You know what? I think that I would have appreciated your white lie about not contacting the bloke. It HURTS to be rebuffed, and sometimes a little untruth can take a much weaker blow to the ego than full on honesty, which you can sometimes never recover from.
Of course, being the rejecter forced to lie feels awful. Hope the situation has improved.
Love k
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