I hate I.D photos.
I hate concession card photos. I hate licence photos. But most of all, I hate passport photos.
When I got my passport photo in Year Eight, I started counting down until 2008- when I would be able to renew the horrible photo (I looked stoned.) On my probationary drivers' licence, I look jaundiced.
I looked down at my new passport photo today after the Polaroid had dried and went "Crap."
The stout little woman at the Post Office who had taken my photo happened to be SHORT. Shorter than me. I personally believe that people that short should not be let anywhere near a quad lens Polaroid camera, because now I have four 35mm photos of me with a highly unflattering Avril Lavigne-esque angle. As in, nostril shots.
Because she was looking UP.
All I needed to do was get a tie, adopt a Canadian whine and break into the first chorus of Girlfriend.
Not happy, Jan. And because laughing or frowning is strictly prohibited in passport photos, I look like a grumpy Columbian drug dealer that's been dragged in for questioning. And I'm Asian- so that simile doesn't even work.
I also decided while I was out that I'd get a nice fruity air freshener for my little blue car- it was this bright orange, happy-looking tree. If you've never used an air freshener before (as I had not), you're meant to pull it one-seventh out of the bag, and tug it out an extra half centimetre each week to properly distribute the fragrance. (I'm not sure who thought this up, because it's a friggin' air freshener, it's not bloody rocket science.)
Unfortunately, in my zeal to open the air freshener I ripped the entire bag open.
Screw it, I thought, and I just attached it to the little hook above the back seat door.
Five minutes later, I thought I was going to choke and die on Sunny Citrus fumes. It was so damn strong I had to take it out of the car and dump it on the shoe cabinet near the door (so now our entire front room also smells strongly of orange).
I have unleashed an olfactory MONSTER.
2 comments:
I have to say I quite like passport photos...but only becasue my L's had me with a shaved head looking like a convict, and my passport is a recycled year 7 photo even though I had it renewed 4 years later.
But I feel your pain, chemists and booths should not be allowed to charge you $7 for 4 crappy photos of you looking unhappy. Especially short chemists.
My passport photo makes Rosanna dearest look like Jaba the Hut.
I'm not sure if your photo will be allowed? The photo has to be taken straight-on - it is a very tight system since 9/11. If that is the case, you can go back to the place of purchase, explain that your photo was rejected by the Passport Office and get a free 2nd one :)
Alternatively, you could go elsewhere for a more flattering angle!
Good luck xo
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